CABIN WEDDING ETIQUETTE
(INFO PROVIDED COURTESY OF SMOKY MOUNTAIN CABIN WEDDINGS)
Since we were the first ministers that offered cabin weddings here in the Smoky Mountain region, we thought that we shouldhelp people out by suggesting an etiquette for people wanting to get married in their cabins.
RULE #1, NO RULES
Please understand that the whole idea of a wedding in a cabin or chalet is
built around the need many people have to shed the many rules, restrictions,
and expenses associated with a traditional wedding. Keeping that in mind, know
that you as individuals should be in charge of how your wedding should proceed.
Your cabin wedding should reflect your personalities and relationship. Our
goal in presenting this information is to help whatever you plan go more smoothly
and easily for everyone. What follows is not so much a list of rules and regulations
to follow, as much as suggestions to help your planning.
PAYMENT
This is important. Know ahead of time if you owe a balance to the
officiant and what it is. It is best to have this amount in an envelope ready
for the Minister. If you want to write a personal check for the balance, know
ahead of time if that is an acceptable form of payment. Many people ask us
if it is OK to tip the Minister. It is OK, if that is something you want to
do, but it certainly is not required. You should only tip if you feel that
the service provided by the Minister and his staff warrants it.
BE ON TIME
This is probably one of my pet peeves. We arrive at a cabin,
everybody is rushing about, the bride is still in her slip drying her hair
and I know we are going to be made late. There are lots of reasons this happens,
and there are ways to make sure this doesn't happen. Probably the main reason
this happens is because the people don't take time to ask very important
questions when making their arrangements. Too often what I find out is that
the people involved were not aware of how busy the traffic would be, how
far the cabin is from the licensing office, the hairdresser, the tux rental,
or the hotel where the guests are staying. This is all information that can
be gathered ahead of time so that you can warn your guests of the heavy traffic
and plan your day accordingly. The main problem with running late is that
the Minister will then have to be late for all his/her weddings the balance
of the day, or just have to come back later to perform your service. If you
are late, be flexible in allowing the Minister to come back later, believe
me, that is not their first choice, but it is the most considerate thing
for you to do.
BE IN CHARGE
(or have somebody who is)! If you are going to have more than
a couple of guests to your wedding have somebody designated to greet the
guests and Minister, give the Minister the paperwork, arrange final payment
or tip, etc. Remember, the Minister is walking into a room full of strangers
and is expected to perform. It is a relief to walk into a room and have somebody
who knows what is going on, and is able to assist you in your job. Some of
the most difficult weddings we have worked were ones where we walked into
a room full of people and are met with silence. It makes us as Ministers
uncomfortable, and I am sure it makes your guests uncomfortable. If you have
somebody in charge they can help break the ice.
HAVE FUN
Most of all, your wedding day should be fun and relaxing. We
started doing cabin weddings to offer people an alternative to the stress
of a big
wedding. Keep your day simple, enjoyable, and stress-free. After all, at
the end of the day, no matter what might have happened, the main thing
is that you will be married to the person you love most in the world. Even
if
there are mishaps, you will have exchanged the most precious vows with
the most precious of persons. Relax, have fun, and focus on what's important...the
love you two share and the beginning of the life you will live together.
A destination wedding is a unique thing. It's an opportunity for you to create
a wedding that reflects your personality and ideals. There aren't a lot of
rules out there as there are for traditional chapel or cabin weddings. Below
is a list of questions that many brides ask me in preparation for their cabin
or intimate chapel wedding. Remember, this whole event should be something
that you create for yourself, -- don't let anything I say (or anybody else,
for that matter) sway you from what you really want. If you want to have your
favorite beagle as your ring bearer, then more power to you. If you want to
get married in your bathing suits in your hot tub (don't laugh, we've done
this), go for it...It's your wedding.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
We just want a simple
service, no fuss, no muss....What can we do?
We aren't renting
a cabin...what are our options?
What should we wear?
What if it rains? (For a wedding scheduled
outdoors.)
What if it snows?
Do we need witnesses?
Can we get married outside?
Can I have somebody
give me away?
Do I have to have somebody
give me away?
Can we throw rice (or bird seed...)?
Can my children
be part of my wedding?
Can we write our own vows?
Do
we need a permit for a wedding in the National Park
What if we have to
cancel?
What if we need
to reschedule?
Do you supply flowers
?Do you play music?
Can you play my music?
Do we need a marriage
license?
Keep it Simple
Follow your heart
We just want a simple service, no fuss...What can we do?
This is easy, if you plan on getting married during a non-holiday time, then just book our basic cabin wedding. For $100.00 the minister will come out to your cabin and get you married. This is a great option whether you expect guests or not. Back to FAQ top.
We aren't renting a cabin -- what are our options?
This sort of depends on what you want. You could opt to have your wedding service in our primitive chapel, Creekside Cove or on the chapel bridge for a smaller fee.. If you aren't sure what you would like and want to discuss your options, call Jodie at 865/453-9117 & she will be glad to help.Back to FAQ top.
Quite literally, whatever makes you happy and comfortable. We have people get married in cutoffs and flip-flops, pajamas, and formalwear. We have no rules (other than clothing is NOT optional), so wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and relaxed. If you want to wear a formal gown and tux, then please do so. If you are a lady that wants to wear a formal gown, and you can't get your guy out of his blue jeans and tee-shirt, then maybe you can compromise, you wear a gown and he wear a nice shirt, slacks and tie (if you can get him in it). My point it, don't make this (or anything else about your cabin wedding) a stressor in your life. Your life is stressed enough without creating more problems for yourself. Back to FAQ top.
What if it rains? (For a wedding scheduled outdoors.)
This is where life does get a little tricky. Usually if we have a wedding scheduled for the outdoors and it looks like rain I will try to contact you a day or so in advance to discuss your options. Your options would be to move the wedding to the chapel (with a slight increase in the fee to pay the chapel owner), or to move the wedding to your rental cabin. Sometimes people will just take their chances and go ahead with the outdoor wedding, and that's fine, but we cannot expose our camera equipment to rain, so we might have to limit the services we provide if the weather is too harsh. This is one of those things that we take on a case-by-case basis, but you should be aware of the possibilities if you plan an outdoor service.Back to FAQ top.
Ok, here's another really difficult question, because there is no simple answer. This we do on a case-by-case basis. If your cabin is inaccessible and you are unable to get out, we will reschedule your wedding service until such a time as you do get out or we can get in. If you are able to get out, we will arrange for you to have your wedding at the chapel or other mutually agreeable spot instead of in your cabin. There are some instances when travel anywhere in the county is inadvisable because of ice and snow, and, at such times, we will stay in touch with you as much as possible to determine the best time to meet and perform the ceremony. Keep in mind when scheduling a wedding from mid-December to late February that it is possible, although not probable that you could have snow mess up your plans a bit. Also keep in mind during those time periods that the higher up you are the more possible it is to be impacted by snow and ice, so a lower cabin would be advisable in the winter months. Back to FAQ top.
No. The state of Tennessee does not require that a witness be present for the wedding to be legal. Back to FAQ top.
Weather permitting, that is a qualified "Yes!" When I say qualified, here is what I mean. Here's a scenario: we get to a cabin and the people have already decided that they want to get married out on the deck. It's got a pretty view, but it is narrow. They have about 20 guests, they want us to video tape and take pictures, and want it all on this narrow deck...their pictures are not going to be great & the video will only show them from the waist up at best. Sometimes it's better to have the wedding inside (say in front of the fireplace), and then do your portrait style photos out on the deck. In other words, let your common sense rule your judgement. If you get to your cabin and it is perched on the side of the mountain, that might limit the outside to the deck of the cabin. Your best bet if you want an outdoor service is to make sure the deck is of adequate size or reserve the chapel bridge.Back to FAQ top.
Can I have somebody give me away?
It is a tradition for the Bride's Father to give her away, and you are certainly welcome to be as much of a traditional bride as you wish! Some other ideas (if your Father is not available) would be to have your Mother, a sibling, a child, or even a close friend give you away. This person will escort you into the wedding area, then will designate to the minister that he/she/they give you to be married.Back to FAQ top.
Do I have to have somebody give me away?
Today's bride can stand on her own two feet, and there is no rule (especially in a casual wedding atmosphere) that says you have to be given away. Remember, this is your wedding, it should reflect your tastes, personality, and interests.Back to FAQ top.
Can we throw rice (or bird seed...)?
If you are getting married in a private rental cabin, then only throw what you are willing to clean up. (Bird seed would be fine on the decks, but might we suggest "bridal bubbles" or "bridal bells" as a clean alternative to throwing things?)Back to FAQ top.
Can my children be part of the wedding?
If you want your children to participate in your wedding, then by all means feel free to do so. Often people will have their children escort them in, stand as attendants, or be flower girls or ring-bearers. Please be sure to keep whatever roll you plan for them "age-appropriate." I also want to strongly suggest that if you do have a toddler or young child be a ring bearer, just give him/her a decorative pillow to carry, but give the rings to the minister or some other adult. I have learned by hard experience that a ring dropped on a deck is very likely going to find a crack to fall through, and finding a ring that has dropped over 60 feet into dense underbrush can be a daunting task for anybody. One thing that parents often do with children that are old enough is to conduct a "family vow exchange" between the child and the new parent. Feel free to call Jodie at 865/453-9117 to find out how that usually goes. Back to FAQ top.
Let's face it, this wedding is all about you two and the promises you are exchanging, so if you want those promises to be personal, from your heart; then all the better. Just keep in mind that the vow should take the form of a promise. If you choose to write your own vows, you should read them to eachother. Usually the minister will conduct the service as normally performed, but then when it comes time for the vow exchange will indicate that you should read your vows to each other. After that he/she will continue the normal service. Back to FAQ top.
Do we need a permit for a wedding in the National Park?
We are sorry, but due to scheduling conflicts we are no longer able to offer wedding services in the National Park. If you want an outdoor wedding we can schedule a service on the Chapel Bridge. Back to FAQ top.
If you cancel at least 2 weeks before your scheduled wedding date, then we will refund all but 10% of your deposit amount. If you cancel within the 2 weeks before your scheduled wedding date, then we will be unable to refund your deposit. Back to FAQ top.
What if we need to reschedule?
If you let us know at least two weeks before your scheduled wedding date, then there is no problem. If it is within the two weeks before your wedding, we usually cannot reschedule unless there is some kind of emergency. Please call Jodie at 865/453-9117 if something comes up, we would rather work with you than have you cancel or be upset. Back to FAQ top.
No, but we know people who can! If you want silk flowers, call Sylvia, she will be glad to create whatever you want at a good price. She can deliver to the office of your rental company so you can just pick them up on your way out to your cabin, or sometimes she can deliver to us and we will bring them with us. Her website address is: Starrglow candles. (She also does wonderfully scented gel candles, wreathes, etc.). If you want fresh flowers, contact the girls at the Kroger florist at 865/429-0874 and they will be glad to create something nice for you. If you want more exotic flowers (read not roses), then be sure to call a couple of weeks in advance so they can order what you want. Back to FAQ top.
For an indoor Basic service (or a service on a deck), yes. If you are getting married at an outdoor location, then we do not supply music. (Feel free to bring a battery-operated stereo and your own CD is you wish to have music outside. Back to FAQ top
If it is a setting that we normally play music (in the chapel, or for a Basic service in a cabin), then we will be happy to incorporate your music into your wedding service (just be sure to bring a CD player with you). It is best to limit your selections to two songs, otherwise it becomes all music and very little service. (Keep in mind that the average service is only 12-15 minutes long, if you want three songs played they will be about equal in length to the service, and, to be honest, it will begin to seem awkward.) Feel free to consult with Jodie at 865/453-9117 if you want to customize the wedding service in any way, including the music. Back to FAQ top.
Do we need a marriage license?
Yes*, and it must be from the state of Tennessee. For all the regulations
regarding licenses, where to get them, etc. Visit our License Information
page. *If you are renewing your vows you do not need to get a marriage license. Back
to FAQ top.
If you want bridesmaids, flower girls, arches, formal processionals, candelabra,
etc. then you are probably wanting to get married in a chapel or church that
is designed to accommodate such formalities. It is not that these things
aren't great in the right setting, but we have seen people try to squeeze
50 of their closest friends and relatives, a formal archway, three bridesmaids,
three groomsmen, a flower girl, ring bearer and eight-foot train into a small
one bedroom cabin. What resulted was difficult to describe, very hot, and
probably not at all what the bride started planning. (Please read Follow
your heart again.) Although it would have cost the couple a bit more to rent
a chapel the results would have been much better. Remember, the whole idea
of a cabin wedding is to keep things simple. It's alright to wear your dream
dress, even if it does have an eight foot train. It's alright to wear a tuxedo.
It's alright to have 50 of your closest friends attend. Just keep in mind
what the setting is that you have selected and plan accordingly. You will
be so glad you did. Back to FAQ top.
The reason you decided to have a cabin wedding in the first place was to have a wedding that would be uniquely yours, simple, and uncomplicated. Follow your heart. Don't complicate something that should be essentially simple, no matter what other people tell you. The minute you tell people you are going to get married in a cabin they are going to want to help "plan" the event. That's nice if that is what YOU want, but be sure what they plan fits with what you want, not their preconceived notions of what a wedding should be. In other words, always remember Rule #1! Back to FAQ top.
Call HearthSide Cabin Rentals at (866) 429-0955 for more information!
Be sure to book your romantic Honeymoon Cabin with HearthSide Cabin Rentals.